Its hard to believe for me that why people always want to act strong, holding back their tears and faking it all! You have lost someone who was very dear to you, and you cannot bring them back and it just hurts so much that its not bearable. The rituals carried out after the death reminds you of every single thing of that dear one you just lost. Its very hard to hold yourself back to have all the senses, you have already suffered a lot of the emotional trauma and …..its alright to cry and let your guard down. We have to understand that these rituals are made for humans, and by humans only,so that we get support of each other in the hard times and that they don’t take a wrong step and to provide them a shoulder to lean their head on.
They say, don’t cry and say, be strong. How is not crying anyway relevant to being strong,at all? And this is not the problem that you see just in these funerals or anything like that. Its sown deep in our childhood itself. When a boy cries, his parents come and say that “Boys don’t cry. See, how you are crying like a girl, etc. etc.” We don’t realize how bigger the problem gets when they grow up as adults. A time will come when they will go through something very harsh, whatever the reasons be, and still they would not cry because they think its NOT OK to cry and its cowardly and famine. The shock, anger and frustration will grow over the time and they will end up doing something to themselves or something wrong which was not to be done. Yes, I understand that you cannot be crying and pity yourself on every small things, sometimes you have to be strong and face the situation. But,at the saddest times in your life,its alright to let your guard down and just cry and have a conversation with someone you want to be and talk with. After all, a human being is a human being and we all have the rights to be ourselves, that means its OK if your not at your best sometimes, and that you are tired, we are not god right? when you cry, it just shows that you are taking out all the weight from your heart and mind that you had buried from so long and making some space to think.
It feels a lot better when you share your feelings and problems with someone and…. cry. All i am saying is that when something hazardous and bitter has happens in someone’s life, the best way you can help them is to sit down with them for sometime,without giving advises, just listen to them and whatever is going on in their mind,just let them cry until their inner soul realizes that now its not that dark outside and they can come back to their senses. They will sooner or later accept the fact of death of their dear ones as the law of universe is unbend-able. Or that whatever happened was a part of life or accept their mistake, whatever the problem was. They will really feel better and realize that they are not alone and tell them what’s appropriate to be done only if they approve and give them time to think,and not forcing them. Only then,ask them to be strong because maybe now they have got the strength and inner peace that they needed in their hardest times.
The only moral I could speak about here is that……when you cry, you don’t need to be told to be brave, you are already brave.Once you are done with the traumatic feeling and situation, you will be able to come back to life and handle yourself. Just come out stereotyping and understand that CRYING IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS.